Women’s Circles Are Not a Luxury—They’re Survival

By Suzzanne Suleiman, LLP

If you’ve ever left a women’s gathering feeling lighter, steadier, or strangely more yourself, it’s not just in your head. It’s in your biology.

We’ve been taught to think of women’s circles—whether it’s a book club, a sisterhood retreat, or a handful of friends in a living room—as something “extra.” A nice-to-have. A comfort.

But here’s the truth:

Women’s circles aren’t just comforting—they’re biologically protective.

The Science of Sitting Together

When women gather in emotionally safe, all-female groups, something measurable happens:

• Oxytocin flows. This “bonding hormone” calms the nervous system, helping us feel safe and grounded.

• Depression symptoms drop. Social connection is one of the most reliable buffers against mood disorders.

• Resilience rises. Being witnessed and supported strengthens our capacity to face challenges.

• Self-worth grows. We see ourselves reflected in the eyes of people who believe in us.

• Chronic illness risks decrease. Strong social ties are linked to lower rates of heart disease, autoimmune conditions, and even early mortality.

• Life satisfaction climbs. We leave with more joy, purpose, and belonging than we came in with.

These aren’t just feel-good moments. They’re life-extending, system-regulating, evidence-based interventions.

A Story I’ve Seen Play Out Many Times

I’ll call her Melissa.

Melissa was a 42-year-old mother of two, recently divorced, with a demanding job and a calendar that looked like a game of Tetris. On paper, she was “handling it”—keeping up with work, co-parenting, paying the bills. But when she sat down in my office, she said something I hear far too often:

“I have people around me all the time… and I’ve never felt lonelier.”

Her social life had quietly evaporated after her marriage ended. The friends she had as part of a couple were busy with their own families, and she didn’t want to “burden” anyone with her struggles.

We talked about trying a women’s circle in her community. She hesitated—“That’s not really me. I’m not into touchy-feely stuff.” But she went. And something shifted.

She told me later, “I didn’t realize how much I missed laughing until we were all in the kitchen, passing snacks around like we’d known each other forever. I walked in tense and tired. I walked out lighter, like my shoulders had dropped three inches.”

That one gathering didn’t fix everything. But over the weeks, her sleep improved, her mood lifted, and she started to trust her own voice again. Her nervous system wasn’t running on constant alert anymore—it had found a place to rest.

We Are Wired for Tribe

For most of human history, we didn’t move through life alone. We cooked together, raised children together, grieved together, told stories around the fire.

Our nervous systems evolved in the presence of “the village.”

Now, in a world where busyness is worn like a badge and digital connection often replaces physical presence, that village can be hard to find. And yet, our bodies still crave the same safety signals our ancestors did.

Why This Matters in a Lonely World

As a therapist, I see what happens when that need goes unmet: women believing they should be able to “handle it on their own,” carrying invisible loads until their mental or physical health starts to fracture.

And I see the shift when they find their people—a circle that listens, laughs, and holds them without judgment. The transformation isn’t just emotional. It’s chemical. It’s cellular.

We are wired for tribe.

And in a world pulling us toward disconnection, this kind of connection is not a luxury—it’s survival.

PS. You are not alone.