Empowerment Hacks: Self-Love Is a Verb

Self-love is the practice of recognizing, accepting, and valuing oneself. Historically rooted in philosophical and religious texts, self-love has evolved over time and is often misunderstood.

Ancient texts and modern psychology thinkers have significantly debated the meaning of self-love. Greek philosopher Aristotle explored self-love as an element of ethical living, while religious teachings tell us to love our neighbors as ourselves, implying that loving oneself is part of the human experience, and one might even consider it a necessity.

Believe it or not, not every philosopher has been on the positive side of self-love. In the 14th century, theologian John Calvin dismissed it as a vice. Centuries later, psychologist Erich Fromm flipped that narrative, arguing that loving others and loving oneself are inseparable. To Fromm, true love begins within; it’s not a selfish act, it’s the opposite. According to his books you can’t deeply love others without honoring yourself first.

This is how I see it...It’s super easy to verbalize the 3-word sentence: “I love myself.” But let’s talk real self-love in the 21st century for a sec. Saying it is one thing. But the actual feeling is so much more than semantics. It’s a practice, an experience, a lifestyle.

Think about someone you truly love. Someone for whom the feeling of love emanating from you is so strong, you feel it in your being. At times the feeling is so strong your body feels like taking action at the simple thought of them being in harm’s way. That kind of love is not just words; it is something you live.

Real self-love is felt the same way. And, in my opinion, it should even be deeper and present in the way you speak about yourself, in the decisions you make, in the company you keep, in the boundaries you set, in every step you take, and in the thoughts you allow to linger in your mind.

True self-love lives in the action, not the affirmation alone.

The Language of Love (With Yourself)

One of the clearest indicators of how we truly feel about ourselves is how we talk when no one’s listening. The quiet moments. The slips of sarcasm. The self-deprecating jokes that sting from within.

“I’m so dumb.”

“I could never do that.”

“She can, but even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to.”

“I’m not good enough”

Sound familiar? Some may say these are harmless throwaways. And they can be…But they also can be the drippings of your mind; the subconscious beliefs leaking through the cracks of everyday language.

For self-love to be real and solid, we must speak to ourselves like we matter. Like we are worthy. Like we are sacred light beigns having a human experience. Because we are!

Talk Like Someone You Love

Imagine this: Would you speak to your bestie the way you sometimes speak to yourself?Would you critique her body, her dreams, her talents? Would you diminish her wins

Would you highlight her every flaw?

Hell no! You’d hype her up. You’d hold space. You’d extend grace. And that’s exactly how you need to show up for you.

This is the Hack: Embody the Love

Self-love means:

• Talking about yourself with tenderness, both inside your head and out loud.

• Making decisions from a place of worthiness, not fear.

• Choosing rest without guilt.

• Identifying and correcting your inner dialogue when it turns critical.

• Saying no when it dishonors you.

• Saying yes when it expands you.

Because baby, you can’t just say you love yourself, you have to show it.

Empowerment Hack of the Month

Your self-talk is your soul’s nutrition. Feed it something kind.

Every time you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself, pause, then ask:

Would I say this to someone I love? Then reframe it. Speak the truth with love. Then do something to make the affirmation real.

Try it:

• Instead of “I’m such a mess,” say “There’s so much opportunity for me to learn”…Then learn something that helps you be less of a mess (ex. use your calendar, leave 10 minutes earlier to be on time, park a little further to get some steps in, etc).

  
  

• Instead of “I always mess this up,” say “Progress, isn’t perfect, and I’m working on it”…Then work on it (ex. read instructions, google a strategy, make the call, send the email, etc).

In conclusion, after every affirmation, do something to make it a true statement! :)

When you speak like someone you love, you embody someone you love. When you follow that with action, it become self-love manifested.

All my love,

JM Balbuena