Building the Plane While Flying It: What I’ve Learned Starting a Nonprofit with No Experience

By Patty Roe, Founder and Executive Director

Starting PS Society has been one of the most humbling, exhilarating, and eye-opening experiences of my life.

When I first got the idea, I didn’t have a background in nonprofits. I didn’t have investors, a step-by-step manual, or a consultant guiding me through every decision. I just had a clear vision: to help women find real connection in a world that has become painfully disconnected.

What I didn’t realize is that having a strong why doesn’t automatically come with a how.

Lesson One: Passion Is Not a Business Plan

When your mission comes from the heart, it’s easy to think passion will carry you through every obstacle. I wish that were true. Passion will get you started, but it won’t tell you how to build infrastructure, navigate paperwork, or organize a team.

I used to think business plans were for big corporations or people who didn’t trust their instincts. Now I see it differently. A business plan is what keeps you grounded. It forces you to see how this thing you are dreaming about will actually function day to day.

If I could give one piece of advice to anyone starting something new, it would be this: live in your plan before you live in your launch. You can still build from intuition, but structure gives your intuition a place to land.

Lesson Two: Choose People for Skill, Not Comfort

In the beginning, I made the classic mistake of choosing people because I liked them, not because they had the skill set to help carry the vision.

That came from a good place. I wanted a team that felt right. But what I learned is that friendship and fit are not the same thing. You can love someone and still realize they aren’t the right person to help you build what you are building.

And that is okay. In fact, it is necessary. The people around you should complement your strengths, not mirror your enthusiasm.

When I look back now, I realize that being liked is not what sustains a mission. Being aligned is.

Lesson Three: Learning on the Job Is an Olympic Sport

I have learned more in the past year than any textbook or webinar could have taught me. From legal filings to bylaws to figuring out what order things are supposed to happen in, it has been a crash course in building while learning.

The phrase “building the plane while flying it” is cute until you realize you are the one holding the wrench midair.

Every week has brought a new “Wait, we need that?” moment. But through each one, I’ve realized this: mistakes do not mean you are failing. They mean you are learning out loud. And if you are learning, you are moving forward.

Lesson Four: The Money Paradox

We have not even started fundraising yet, and honestly, that has been one of the hardest parts.

We know we need funding to grow, but we also know that asking for money before we have the right systems or clarity around impact is not the right move. We are still setting the foundation—defining what success looks like, how to measure it, and what we can sustain.

That is the paradox: needing money to build, but needing structure before asking for it.

And I have learned that this stage matters. It’s where your mission gets tested, not by donors or grants, but by patience and faith.

Lesson Five: The Mission Will Evolve

I have had to pivot, pause, and rewrite things more times than I’d like to admit. Sometimes it’s logistical. Sometimes it’s emotional. Sometimes it’s just realizing that what you imagined in your head needs to function differently in real life.

But I’ve learned to see those pivots not as mistakes, but as refinements. The mission hasn’t changed. It has simply become clearer. With clarity has come simplicity.

You can tweak your methods and still stay true to your why. The heart of it never leaves; you just get better at expressing it.

Lesson Six: Protect Your Energy

This one is tough. Not everyone who wants to be involved has pure intentions. Some people are drawn to the idea of “being part of something,” but not the work that comes with it.

I have learned to be protective of PS Society—not in a controlling way, but in a way that guards the mission at all costs.

This work is sacred. It is about belonging, healing, and building community. That means the people around it have to embody that same integrity. I would rather have a small circle with the right energy than a big one with the wrong motives.

Lesson Seven: Intuition Is the Founder’s Best Tool

The more I learn, the more I trust my gut.

Every major decision so far (when to shift, when to say no, when to take a risk) has come down to intuition. I have had to remind myself that I don’t need permission to lead from instinct.

There is no guidebook for starting something that has never existed before. There is only trust. And that is what I am building: trust in the mission, in the process, and in myself.

For Anyone Just Beginning

If you are at the beginning of something, especially something heart-led, know this: you are not behind. You are just in the learning season.

It’s messy, humbling, and sometimes lonely. But it’s also sacred. Every challenge is shaping you into the kind of leader your mission deserves.

Build slowly. Learn deeply. Trust wildly.

The plane doesn’t need to look perfect before takeoff. It just needs enough lift to get off the ground. And you will figure out the rest in the air.