Paying It Forward, With Gratitude

By Taylor Clark BSN, RN

As we start a new year, it often feels like a natural time for goal-setting and fresh starts—a collective “reset.” But here in Michigan, January and winter slows everything down for me. The marathon of holidays has ended, the cold keeps us indoors, and the pace of life naturally softens.

This year, I have decided to try to use this season to slow down, reflect, and plan. Which brings me to the topic of today’s post: gratitude.

Research is increasingly showing that a consistent gratitude practice can improve trauma resilience—both in healing from past experiences and in preparing us for future stress. I recently listened to an episode of the Huberman Lab, hosted by a professor from Stanford School of Medicine. As a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner in training, this episode genuinely fascinated me.

Many of us think of gratitude as simply listing things we’re thankful for each day. And while that practice does help with grounding, reflection, and orienting ourselves toward a more positive mindset, Dr. Huberman highlighted something even more impactful:

Receiving gratitude.

Studies suggest that receiving gratitude can shift the brain toward greater calm, social connection, and motivation—while reducing anxiety and fear. It can lower inflammation, move us away from defensive thought patterns, and gently nudge us toward inclusion and safety rather than threat.

Our brains thrive on stories. Gratitude isn’t abstract—it places us directly into a lived experience. When we hear how we’ve impacted someone else, our nervous system believes it. It enriches our emotional memory, strengthens connection, and fosters a sense of belonging. By mentally stepping into another person’s experience, we deepen positive emotion and relational trust.

I highly recommend listening to the episode if you’re curious about how to implement this practice in your own life.

I am a nurse after all, and as someone who naturally focuses on others—and finds deep fulfillment in helping—I had an important realization. If receiving gratitude benefits me, and I can’t force someone to express gratitude toward me… I can offer my gratitude to others—and know that they will receive the benefits.

While PS Society offers a Letters to Your Future Self initiative, I want to encourage you to consider something just as powerful: letters of gratitude to the people in your life.

These letters become something tangible—something the recipient can return to whenever they need reassurance. Research shows that receiving gratitude increases feelings of social bonding, trust, and safety, while reducing threat perception. People feel seen and valued. Their efforts matter. Their self-worth strengthens—without inflating ego.

When someone rereads a gratitude letter, it can reactivate positive emotion, motivation, and resilience, with benefits lasting weeks to months. Your bond with them deepens in a way that feels relational rather than obligational—freely given, freely received.

There are health benefits too. Stress markers decrease. Depressive symptoms may ease. Optimism increases. Emotional regulation improves, helping reduce burnout and moral fatigue. Gratitude can also soften negative self-image, helping people recognize positive traits, values, and strengths within themselves.

How to Write a Gratitude Letter

When writing your letter:

• Be specific about what they did.

• Share why it mattered to you.

• Acknowledge their effort—especially unseen or emotional labor.

• Write sincerely, not performatively.

And here’s the beautiful part: you benefit too.

As the writer, you may experience:

• Reduced stress and threat response

• Increased parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) activation

• Deeper emotional encoding through storytelling

• A clearer, more coherent personal narrative

• Reduced rumination and mental load

• Improved emotional regulation and sleep quality

You may also notice something more subtle but powerful: this practice reinforces your sense of who you are. You’re someone who notices impact. Someone who names meaning. Someone who lives their values. And that strengthens self-concept—without ego inflation.

A Gentle Challenge

So, I challenge you to lift up the people in your life by sending them letters of gratitude. You’ll support your own well-being—and you may make their world a little brighter too.

Below is a simple template if you’d like a starting point. And who knows—if you’re reading this, you might even receive one from me.

Dear friend,

I am so grateful for you. You may not realize how much you’ve impacted me, but when you did [ABC], I felt [XYZ]. I noticed the effort you put in, especially knowing that [context or unseen labor], and it showed me how much you care.

Because of what you did, [outcome or effect] became possible for me.

I wanted to write this letter because you matter deeply to me. I’ve learned that expressing gratitude can benefit the person receiving it—without them needing to do anything at all. And I want you to know how much you are valued.

With love,

Taylor

Let’s start this year not with a gunshot start, but with noticing and reflection. With gentleness. With a hand held out, inviting those we love to walk beside us. A time to realign and prepare for what comes next—because when the world moves toward love and sharing, we go farther together.

P.S. You are seen.