Failing is Messy Business.

By Carolyn Kates, Clarity with Carolyn

Failing is messy business.

It is hard, uncomfortable, and scary.

Whether it’s a failed relationship, business, or personal goal, failures often lead us to doubt ourselves.

And when we fail or make a mistake, we can mistakenly believe there is something inherently flawed about us, and we are doomed to fail forever. We cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel; how we feel now is how we think we will always feel.

However,  failures make us much wiser and stronger than successes ever could. They teach us how to love ourselves regardless of our outside circumstances and how to persevere when faced with heartbreak.

Today, it is time to accept that failure and delayed success are everyday experiences for everyone, regardless of what appears on the surface.

Everyone faces struggles, relationships may end, money can be lost, and ventures might not succeed. However, what we do next with those failures determines our experience.

It hurts to fail, and we must allow ourselves to feel that. We need to mourn whatever we lost. But we should also let ourselves feel proud, brave enough to try something, and put ourselves out there.

Today, if and when you encounter a failure or make a mistake, stop yourself from reflexively berating and chastising yourself. 

Instead, ask yourself how you can grow and change to achieve greater success in the future.

Ask yourself how you can be kinder to yourself when you experience failure. Addressing those questions will give you greater strength and wisdom as you move forward. They will help you build a more loving relationship with yourself.

Today, allow yourself to let go of your negative self-talk and love yourself, no matter how many mistakes you have made or will make. 

Just for today, I recognize that Life is an education and I am a student. I am doing the best I can and every day gets easier. When I make a mistake, I recognize it is not the end, but only a part of the learning process. I release old negative judgments about myself, and I love myself unconditionally.

And so it is.